Introduction:
A great letter of recommendation can open doors. It adds context to your grades, shows colleges or employers how you work with others, and highlights qualities that applications cannot capture on their own. Yet many students wait too long to ask, or they make last minute requests that leave recommenders scrambling. The result is often a generic letter that does not reflect your strengths.
You can do better with a simple plan. This guide shows you how to choose the right recommenders, what to give them so they can write confidently, and how to manage timing, follow up, and gratitude without stress. These steps work for college, scholarship, internship, and early job applications.
When you need recommendation letters
Most colleges ask for one or two teacher letters and a counselor letter. Scholarships, research programs, and internships often request references that can speak to your character, reliability, and skills. Professional programs may prefer supervisors who have seen you deliver real work. Always read the exact instructions for each application so you know how many letters are required and what roles are acceptable.
Who to ask
Choose people who know your work and growth. A well written letter from a teacher in a core subject, a mentor in a club, a coach, or a supervisor at work is usually stronger than a letter from a distant but famous person. If you are applying to a specific major, at least one recommender who can speak to that subject or skill set is helpful. For students who changed schools or learned in nontraditional settings, consider mentors from community programs, online courses, or volunteer roles.
Tip: Think about balance. One person can speak to your academic habits, another to your teamwork and initiative, and a third to your character and resilience.
What to prepare before you ask
Make it easy to say yes. Assemble a short recommender packet that includes:
- A one page resume or activity list with roles, hours, accomplishments, and dates
- A brief “about me” paragraph and your goals for this application cycle
- A list of colleges, programs, or scholarships with due dates and submission method
- Your transcript or an unofficial copy if allowed
- Two or three concrete stories they might reference, such as a project you led, a time you helped a peer, or a challenge you worked through
- Any required forms or prompts, highlighted for quick reference
OR you can put it all in a brag sheet - INFORMATION and TEMPLATE
If you are using the Common App in the United States, decide whether to waive your FERPA right to view recommendations. Many colleges prefer that students waive this right to signal that letters are confidential.
How to ask, step by step
- Ask early. Six to eight weeks before the first deadline is ideal. More time is better for teachers who have many requests.
- Ask in person if possible. A short conversation shows respect and lets you gauge their enthusiasm. Follow with a concise email that includes your packet.
- Be specific. Explain what you are applying for and why you hope they will recommend you. Mention a class moment or project that shows why they know you well.
- Confirm logistics. Clarify due dates, the submission process, and whether they need any forms or links from you.
General email script:
“Ms. Alvarez, I am applying to several environmental science programs this fall, and your class pushed me to dig deeper into field methods. Would you be comfortable writing a strong letter of recommendation for my applications. I have a one page summary and deadlines ready if that helps.”
Follow up email sample:
Subject: Thank you and recommendation materials
“Dear Ms. Alvarez, thank you for agreeing to write on my behalf. I attached my resume, a short goals paragraph, and a list of programs with deadlines. The first deadline is October 10. The submission link will come from the application portal. Please let me know if you would like any additional details or examples. I am grateful for your support.”
Timelines, reminders, and gentle nudges
Send a polite reminder one to two weeks before each deadline, and again three business days before if the system still shows “pending.” Keep messages short and appreciative. If someone cannot meet a date, pivot promptly to an alternate recommender. Your organization protects both your application and your relationships.
What makes a letter strong
Great letters do four things. They describe your character and habits with specific examples, place your performance in context, show growth over time, and connect those qualities to the program or role you want. You cannot write the letter for your recommender, but your packet can supply the details that lead to a richer story.
After submission
Thank your recommenders within a week of each letter going in. A handwritten note is memorable. Update them on outcomes, even months later. Gratitude now makes it easier to ask again for scholarships, research roles, or internships.
Special situations
First generation or transfer students. If you are rebuilding relationships on a new campus, ask earlier and keep your packet extra clear. Mentors outside the classroom can be strong voices.
International applicants. Explain the letter format your programs expect and provide links or examples if your school uses different systems.
Work references. For early jobs, supervisors often prefer a quick call. Ask whether they would like a short bullet list of projects they can reference.
For parents, educators, and counselors
Help students identify recommenders who know them well, not just the highest title. Encourage early asks, realistic timelines, and organized packets. If a student is anxious about approaching teachers, practice the script together and role play a respectful conversation. Protect teacher time by coordinating school wide timelines where possible.
Conclusion
A strong recommendation is built on respect, clarity, and time. Choose people who have seen your growth, give them the right materials, ask early, and follow up with grace. These steps produce letters that sound like you, strengthen your application, and honor the people who support your goals.
Further reading and tools
- Common App. Recommender guide and FERPA information: https://www.commonapp.org/
- NACAC. Advice on recommendations and ethical practice in admission: https://www.nacacnet.org/student/ and https://www.nacacnet.org/who-we-are/what-we-do/guiding-ethics/nacacs-guide-to-ethical-practice-in-college-admission/
- MIT Admissions. Teacher recommendations guidance: https://mitadmissions.org/apply/firstyear/letters-of-recommendation/
- Brag sheet information and template: INFORMATION and TEMPLATE
Get started with a free College Admissions Kickstart and Mental Health Check-In Worksheets. Sign up here to download both instantly.
Start writing here...
How to Ask for a Strong Letter of Recommendation