Introduction:
Hello! Decision-making can feel overwhelming at any age, but especially during the teen and young adult years. Between academic choices, career direction, friendships, identity, and growing independence, young people are often navigating some of life’s biggest decisions with limited experience or support. Without the right tools, decision-making can become a source of stress, anxiety, and second-guessing.
This blog helps unpack the decision-making process, explores why it’s so challenging during adolescence, and shares practical tools for building confidence and clarity when making important choices.
Why Decision-Making Is So Challenging in Adolescence
Several developmental factors make decision-making harder for teens and young adults:
- Brain Development: The prefrontal cortex, responsible for planning and weighing consequences, is still maturing into the mid-20s. This makes impulse control and future-oriented thinking more difficult (Casey et al., 2008).
- Social Pressures: Friends, family, and social media all influence choices. Young people often face conflicting messages about what they “should” do, leading to confusion or indecision.
- Fear of Mistakes: The fear of making the “wrong” decision can feel paralyzing, especially when perfectionism or self-doubt are present.
- Information Overload: With so many options available (for school, careers, identities, relationships), young people may feel overwhelmed and unsure how to choose.
5 Tools to Support Better Decision-Making
Here are five evidence-informed strategies that help teens and young adults make thoughtful, values-aligned choices:
1. Clarify Your Core Values
Ask: What matters most to me in this situation?
Values provide an internal compass. For example, if autonomy and creativity are core values, then decisions about university or careers should align with those. Encourage journaling, discussion, or even values inventories to help clarify this.
2. Use the Pros and Cons Method With a Twist
Write out the benefits and drawbacks of each option. Then, instead of just tallying them, ask: Which of these pros or cons align with my values? This helps move beyond surface-level logic to deeper decision-making.
3. Try the 10–10–10 Rule
Popularized by author Suzy Welch, this rule asks:
- How will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes?
- In 10 months?
- In 10 years?
This broadens perspective and helps counteract impulsive choices or short-term anxiety.
4. Practice Mindful Decision-Making
Teach students to pause, breathe, and check in with their body and emotions. Mindfulness can reduce reactive decisions and promote clearer thinking.
Try this simple tool:
Name the emotion you feel, then name what that emotion is trying to tell you. Is it fear? Excitement? Pressure? Confusion?
This technique helps separate emotion from action.
5. Start Small and Build Confidence
Decision-making is a skill. Start with smaller, low-stakes decisions (e.g., organizing a project, choosing an elective, planning an outing), then reflect on what went well. Over time, young people begin to trust their judgment.
When Anxiety or Avoidance Takes Over
Some young people freeze or avoid decisions entirely. This is especially true for those with anxiety, perfectionism, or a fear of failure. In these cases:
- Offer emotional validation (“It makes sense that this feels hard”).
- Break decisions into smaller steps.
- Reinforce that most decisions are not permanent; you can learn and pivot.
- Emphasize self-compassion over performance.
- Avoid overloading them with pressure to choose “the right path.”
The Role of Adults: Parents, Teachers, and Counselors
Supportive adults play a huge role in helping youth become better decision-makers. Here’s how to help:
- Guide, don’t decide: Instead of offering immediate solutions, ask reflective questions that encourage autonomy.
- Model your own process: Talk aloud about how you make tough decisions, including uncertainty and weighing different paths.
- Normalize uncertainty: Remind them that it’s okay not to have everything figured out.
- Celebrate the process, not just the outcome: Highlight growth, effort, and learning.
Further Reading
- ReachOut Australia: Decision-Making Tips
- ACT for Youth: Decision-Making Strategies
- Suzy Welch: 10–10–10 Rule
- Advocates for Youth: How Can I Make Good Decisions?
- Parent and Teen: Making Important Decisions Together
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